Boundaries

We dwell within three boxes: the boundaries of the first are defined by our physiological limitations, the second by the limitations others impose upon us, the third (and often most confining) by the limitations we accept for ourselves; only the first box is escape-proof.

Lying: A Pre-election Primer

Few adversaries are more fearsome than an accomplished liar.

We have more to fear from liars among us than from provocateurs abroad.

The first lie sticks in one's craw; the second may come a bit easier; the third, easier still; until, without intervention, one learns to lie unflinchingly.

Small lies that don't matter are the seeds of bigger lies that do.

If you think he would lie to you now, what makes you doubt he will lie to you later?

Accepting a lie emboldens the liar.

Shhh!

Words may create a void--they can never fill one.

Language can be used as a weapon; so can silence.

The skillful communicator understands the power of the unsaid.

My silence is not a threat but an invitation: Join me.

Language-cop Citations

How did Reruns become "Encore Presentations," suggesting they're back by popular demand?

The male model was asked if he ever got embarrassed by all the attention from the Opposite Sex. He related an incident when he was lying "buck naked" on a beach and found himself surrounded by gawking women: "So sometimes it does get hard." (And difficult, too, I'll bet!)

My friend found it interesting that I was preserving my thoughts "for prosperity." That would be interesting--and more lucrative than writing for posterity!

Enquiring minds want to know: Is the Christian Children's Fund a fund for Christian children or a Christian fund for children?

Accepting his Emmy, actor Hector Elizondo enthused, "Thank you, I'm bereft!" (Why, Hector, had your show been canceled?)

Dear Miss Manners:

Let's stop sanitizing the images of death and destruction. And let's get rid of all Rules of Armed Combat--they're oxymoronic anyway. Our foes have never even heard of the Marquis of Queensbury or Emily Post. From now on, no more Geneva Conventions--anything goes! If we reveal the unvarnished and unexpurgated horror of war, maybe we will finally stop warring.

A tidy little war every now and then may be politically expedient, to distract the electorate from focusing too insistently on their own unmet needs.

Rousing pre-war rhetoric is designed to cow the enemy and frighten the domestic citizenry into acquiescence.

Keeping Score

We killed 3,000,000 Vietnamese, they killed 50,000 Americans; shouldn't that score mean we won?

The Domino Theory was the rationale for the Vietnam War--if we lost to the "Commies" there, democracies throughout Southeast Asia would fall (like dominoes). We lost. But since then, how many democratic regimes in Southeast Asia have been toppled by the Red Menace?

Verdict?

The wives of my enemy succor my enemy. The progeny of my enemy are my enemies-in-waiting. "Innocent women and children"?

Among warring nations, are any "innocent" who support or sustain their failed leaders?

"This has been the bloodiest century ever." I wonder if that's been true of every previous century.

Overkill

The suicide bomber detonating his homemade pyrotechnics and the jet jockey raining death and destruction from the wild blue yonder--both killers, each killing for his own noble purpose with the most lethal means at his disposal.

What is the moral distinction between a few insurgents shooting a family of civilians and an aggressor nation strategically bombing entire cities?

Who has killed more "innocent Iraqis"--the jihadists or the United States military? I don't know the answer, but I think the question is legitimate.

Whether dispatched by a crude improvised device or by sophisticated state-of-the-"art" munitions--whether labeled "murder victims" or "collateral damage"--all are just as dead!

Has there ever been a war in which either side didn't believe they were fighting for a just cause?

Once the first bomb drops, it no longer matters who was at fault--all that matters is who will prevail.

Politicians and Poets

Mankind can be roughly divided into Politicians and Poets: the former, who look at a starfish and see bait; the latter, whose jaws go slack at the simple, elegant, enigmatic wonder of the thing.

Only creatures that can think have the capacity to act irrationally.

Getting To Know Me

Getting to know oneself is a lifelong pursuit; one can never--really--know an Other.

My identity is forged not only by who and what I am but by who and what others think I am.

I refuse to allow my sense of Self to be determined by the actions or attitudes of others.

Who I am is a given; what I am is a choice.

"The Bell Curve"

It does not seem remarkable to me that there may be genetic racial differences in intelligence or athletic ability--it would seem remarkable to me if there were not.

Tolerance means accepting our differences; harmony requires embracing them.

My ism is bigger than your ism!

America's national guilt over Racism (85% oppressing 15%) is being exploited to divide, distract, and divert us from the more insidious treachery of Classism (5% oppressing 95%).

Ouch!

Pain focuses one's attention.

Man is the only animal whose thoughts, alone, can be a source of unbearable pain.

The experience of pleasure requires the memory of pain; smell the rose, remember the stinkweed.

The most exquisite pain is the pain borne by one's child.

Even a rat can learn to avoid pain by altering its course. Why is it some people can't seem to do as much?

Verities

In the ultimate tribute to Jimmy Stewart, actor Ben Gazzara eulogized," His immortality is endless"!

Queried about his team's prospects, the pro jock prophesied, "We could go up or down"!

A crowded footbridge collaped, injuring dozens of pedestrians; an official explained, "It couldn't support the weight"!

Asked whether he thought authorities would apprehend the fugitive, the guest-expert opined, "If they knew where he was, they'd find him"!

Victorious racecar driver: "I want to thank my mom--without her I wouldn't be here"!

What is wrong with the Democrats--a Death Wish?--could there be two less-inspiring congressional leaders than Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid?

Give Peace a Chance

I attended a program commemorating the International Day of Peace. The speakers, representing four different religious denominations, were upbeat and optimistic. The audience was buoyant. After the speeches, we enjoyed punch and cookies. In skirmishes around the world, the killing continued.

John McCain fundamentally and resolutely opposes the notion of "spreading the wealth." Am I safe in assuming, then, that McCain/Palin will champion repeal of the progressive income tax that has been the law of the land, spreading the wealth, since 1862?

DANGER: Machismo Ahead!

As some parents try to compensate for their own lack of athletic prowess by the accomplishments of their children, so some politicos attempt vicariously to assert their masculinity through use of the military.

The number-one problem in the world is TESTOSTERONE--not only in the context of birth control, but in the sense that male political leaders seem compelled to prove, often by force of arms, that their cocks are bigger and stiffer than the next guy's.

Whether with slingshots or ICBMs, boys will be boys.

The main difference between the War we played as boys and the wars we wage as men is that now our soldiers bleed.

Victory is not vindication.

In the euphoric flush of victory, memories rapidly fade of the destruction wrought and the price paid.

The intoxication of winning distracts most citizens from questioning whether limited and uncertain ends justified the horror of the means.

Once we win, what will it be we have won (and what lost)?

Is Iraq really worth the sacrifice? If we assign a value (to us) of Iraq ("x") and a value (ask the families) of the life of one U.S. soldier ("y"), the analysis then becomes quite elementary: n = x/y, where "n" is the number of American troops worth sacrificing for Iraq. Unless, of course, "y" is greater than "x."

The one thing war planners can be sure of is that nothing in war will go as planned.

Behold, the Paragons!

After bombing the bejesus out of them for a week, our Commander-in-Chief complained that they weren't playing by the rules when they seized three American soldiers. War is hell, Mr. President.

Years ago, I watched Mario Cuomo defend a U.S. military exploit by arguing that to do otherwise "would make us look foolish." I have always admired Governor Cuomo's oratorical skill and respected his intellectual horsepower--but, deadly force to avoid looking foolish? I once participated in a group exercise in which the women were required to assume the role of Tarzan, while the men portrayed Jane. I was made to look very foolish--we all were--and we survived; that was the point. Looking foolish is not lethal--an RPG up your ass is! Five of Them had been killed that day--five nameless, faceless Them who were as convinced of the rightness of their cause as we of ours; and who prayed to their god, as we to ours, for safekeeping and deliverance. How many American boys and girls, Mr. Cuomo, would you have been willing to sacrifice to avoid looking foolish? To me, on that night, you looked pretty foolish.

Our Defense Secretary blustered, "We'll show them we're not playing games!" But we are playing games--it's just that they're big-boy games instead of little-boy games--and the stakes are much higher.

After mistakenly bombing the Chinese embassy, the NATO commander affirmed his confidence in the target-selection process. He should have been stripped of his membership in the Flat Earth Society!

Want to know which companies profit most from (any) war? Watch to see where the wartime bureaucrats go to work when they leave office.

Following the Cuban missile crisis, Bobby Kennedy reflected that if Kruschev had underestimated U.S. resolve to use nuclear weapons, the world could have been destroyed. Would we, then, have been victorious? Who would be keeping score? Sometimes it's better to blink.

If you don't vote, don't complain!

I'm an inveterate political junkie,
And the candidates are so supremely funky,
I'm already in serious campaign withdrawal,
Yearning for more sound bites, further venom and gall.

The hopefuls, it seemed, were not above pandering,
With non-stop circumloquacious meandering.
So I'm left with an ache, like a carious tooth,
Does their rhetoric bear any semblance to Truth?

"There are no more true Statesmen," we bitch and we moan,
"Our government is broken," we grunt and we groan,
Then we vote in our own self-interest with verve,
And inevitably get just what we deserve!

Can we talk?

I observed two gents of my acquaintance engaged in a commonplace male-bonding ritual--discussing Monday Night Football. They had performed this rite many times before, with remarkably similar dialogue. Innocent enough. But this was the full extent of their infrequent "communication." They never progressed farther or delved deeper, never learned anything meaningful from each other about themselves or anything else. Just words. Blah, blah!

Chitchat, each distractedly half-listening to the other, may be a useful form of social intercourse, as long as both understand and accept the nature of the exchange; but if we are to converse, I must have your full, undivided attention, and I will give you mine.

Language-cop Citations

The appraiser indicated that the snake etched on the Civil War sword symbolized the "succession" of the Confederacy. He must have slept through History class--the South's secession did not result in succession!

Unless you're Roto Rooter Man, it's flesh out, not "flush out" (the details).

Unless you're counting your pay twice, it's remuneration, not "renumeration."

Unless you're nervous about our encounter, you are eager, not "anxious," to see me.

It's home in, like a pigeon, not "hone in" (on the target).

Believe It Or Not!

American democracy has become a lopsided contest between lying politicians and an electorate lacking the capacity to discern truthtelling from artful deception.

Speechwriter's nightmare: "My fellow Americans, I lied. I lied to a multitude of individuals. I lied in a multiplicity of venues. I lied repeatedly over an extended period of time. I told a passel of lies--some were whoppers. But you can believe me now because..."

Regulate/Deregulate is a Hobson's Choice--Lose/Lose--the corruption of Power on Wall Street and the corruption of Power on Pennsylvania Avenue are equally pervasive and noxious.

While Bush/McCain crow about tenuous successes in Iraq, many real security experts agree that the central battlefield in the War on Terror is Afghanistan--and that there we are losing.

Practice, Practice, Practice

From Nixon to O.J. to Bill Clinton--some people have an astonishing ability to lie convincingly. I conclude such proficiency must come from practice!

The more convincing the lie, the greater the likelihood that the author is a perennial liar.

John McCain said Sarah Palin is "overqualified in many respects." What respects might those be, senator? Then McCain asserted that Palin won her debate against Joe Biden, despite polls indicating that the viewing public had awarded the Win to Biden, by a margin of 2 to 1. No one who views the world through such a distorted prism (or lies so unconscionably) is fit to be President of the United States.

I find it off-putting when strangers call me "pal" or "buddy"--or when John McCain calls me "my friend." I get to choose my friends, Mr. McCain.

Snakes and Snails and Puppydog Tails

Venutians extend an olive branch; Martians assume it's an invitation for martinis.

Venutions never burn bridges; Martians burn the bridge, then dynamite the pilings.

Ventians covet trinkets, Martians covet toys; most trinkets don't go Boom!

Salesperson-of-the-Millennium: whoever sold men on "Women and
children first!"

Sugar and Spice...

I am prepared to accept that women may be smarter. They're also softer, and they smell better.

Whenever a woman disagrees with a man, she considers herself enlightened and him opinionated.

A pretty young woman is like a newly-cast bronze sculpture--pleasing to look at but requiring a bit of weathering to reveal the full lustre of its patina.

Circumcised Penises Preferred

Women say they prefer a man who's been clipped,
I shudder to think if the scalpel had slipped:
I could've been chaste, alone in the crowd--
Longingly, lovelessly underendowed!

...and Everything Nice

We would inhabit a kinder, gentler (and safer) world were there more women in positions of power. Most women are not inclined to settle disputes by punching each other in the nose.

I'd prefer a Commander-in-Chief who grew up playing with Barbie instead of G.I. Joe.

Women are socialized to believe that they are the superior sex, but to enable men to entertain a contrary delusion.

Better, Not Longer

The consequences of extending human longevity may be the gravest challenge of the new millennium.

I am more interested in life-enrichment than life-extension; we need more joie more than we need more vivre!

If I were King, the scientist who discovers the "immortality gene" would be condemned to live forever.

I will support any politician gutsy enough to levy a hefty Population Tax on every parent for each child.

We must slow the birth rate; alternatively, I suppose, we could accelerate the death rate.

Our instincts and our appetites will be the death of us.

When animals outgrow their food supply, we humanely cull the herd; when herds of people outgrow their food supply, we piously murmur "tsk tsk," divert our eyes, and let them starve (sometimes we elect to feed them for a while, enabling them to replenish their ranks and hasten the next famine).

I learned in an introductory college psychology course that rats subjected to overcrowding become cannibals; our arrogance blinds us to the analogy.

War is the smoking gun of failed leadership.

There may be just Causes; there are no just Wars.

War is often the culmination of false premises colliding with erroneous assumptions.

We will spend billions to beat them to their knees, then billions more to raise them up again.

Modern warfare is becoming so prohibitively expensive that soon no nation may be able to afford more than an occasional brief incursion; world leaders will then have to pick their wars more carefully. We can only hope!

According to the British Prime Minister, what distinguished us from them is that we killed innocents accidentally, they killed innocents deliberately; to the dead innocents, that was a distinction without a difference.

Until we get better at killing selectively, maybe we should stop killing.

Mr. Hyde, I presume?

As a youngster (I couldn't have been more than eight or nine), an older cousin and I lined a box with tin foil, leaving a small gap between the sides and the bottom, and wired it to an electric-train transformer. We then caught a frog and put it in the box. As long as the frog remained on the floor of the box, he was safe; if he tried to jump out, however, and his forelegs touched the sides, he completed the circuit and received a jarring jolt. (Within each of us, I fear, is a player called Hyde demanding his time on stage.)

In Search of Equanimity II

Your appreciation and enjoyment of what you have will be heightened if you can stop comparing it to what (you think) you are due.

When one becomes used to the best, anything less is a disappointment; when one is accustomed to the least, anything more is a joy.

Nothing--no thing--truly distinguishes any one of us from all the rest.

In Search of Equanimity

I strive to avoid becoming overwrought about the Inconsequential and the Inevitable.

I am sometimes thought to be indifferent or insensitive because I refuse to be sucked into orgies of angst over things I can do nothing about.

Remember in the Good Ol' Days how reporters stressed the enormity of the National Debt: ...that's Billions--with a "B"! Now it's Trillions--with a "T"! and our collective pulse barely quickens.

The answer to "Why me?" is "Why not?"

The Sporting Life

In the wake of accusations against the college lacrosse team, some pundits wondered whether aggressive sports might lead to aggressive behavior. You think?!

The new fight film was touted as "uplifting" and "inspirational." Attaining material success by unleashing and exploiting the Beast within is a Faustian bargain that should be portrayed as a cautionary tale: If your aptitude is shoveling shit, shovel shit; if your aptitude is beating up other people, shovel shit.

If I were King, the contact in Contact Sports would be limited to a handshake at the end of competition.

Fans claim that sports teach kids valuable lessons in life, then complain when the wealthier teams are able to buy better players. Such is life, kiddies!