Watch your language!

Language liberates and confines, illuminates and blinds; language giveth and language taketh away.

Language is a blessing and a curse: it can be used to clarify or distort, to elucidate or obscure, to enlighten or deceive, to inform or inflame.

Language is Jacob's ladder, the magic beanstalk; language is the delimiting vessel of a bonsai tree, the whalebone stays of a Victorian corset.

Navigate carefully and language is your path to the heavens; misstep and it's a minefield that will blow your starship to smithereens.

Did you notice how public rancor was pacified when illegal aliens became "undocumented immigrants"?

Language-cop Citations

Sportscaster, commenting on the mood of the crowd after the Indianapolis 500 was postponed because of rain: "These fans are used to it-- even though it's only happened four times in the last eighty-two years"!

There is irrespective and there is regardless; there is NO "irregardless"!

"Hopefully, the sun will shine later today." The sun is not hopeful. In fact, Ol' Sol is completely indifferent to your climate.

"I could care less" usually means "I couldn't care less"; "I can't hardly believe it" usually means "I can hardly believe it."

What makes "colored person" an epithet, while "person of color" is perfectly acceptable?

The life expectancy of the average American male is 74.6; on his inauguration day, John McCain would be 72.3. McCain supporters should ask themselves, "How comfortable am I with the thought of President Sarah Palin?"

If true that John McCain had met Sarah Palin only twice, and that he barely knew her, that would mean his choice was calculating--and it was reckless!

The best I can say for John McCain's V.P. pick is that it caught all the pundits flat-footed!

Memo to Prospective Candidates:

You have done something immoral, illegal, embarrassing, or just plain stupid. It will be found out. If you want your dirty little secret to remain under wraps, don't run!

Workers' Wages are falling. So is the Stock Market. Prices are rising. So is Unemployment. So is Poverty. Millions of Americans are losing their Homes. Major Financial Institutions are failing. Our Manufacturing Sector is disappearing. Our Trade Imbalance worsens every year. So does the National Debt. Which "fundamentals of our Economy remain strong," Mr. McCain?

Is John McCain's running mate the best person to succeed him as Commander-in-Chief, President of the United States, and Leader of the Free World; or was his choice an act of desperation aimed at wooing some disaffected Hillary loyalists? Color me Cynical!

Civics Lesson 2

Politics has become so tainted that inexperience is now a virtue.

Most politicians are deterred from perfidy not by their uprightness but by fear of exposure.

Civics Lesson

We know only what our leaders want us to know. We see only what they choose to reveal.

We suffer a surfeit of leaders and a scarcity of leadership.

Hillary Clinton gave a terrific speech in Denver; also, typically Clintonian--more about her than about Obama (with a little minor tweaking, it could have been her own thwarted Acceptance).

Freedom of the Press

I don't appreciate newspaper editorials actively endorsing specific political candidates. The vitality of our democracy depends on a free and objective Press--one that reports but does not attempt to shape the news, that informs but does not try to unduly influence the electorate.

I have in mind a political slogan (suitable for bumper stickers) that concisely describes my ideal: "Caring, Competent, Incorruptible." I offer it, free, to any candidate who personifies its pledge.

Poli Sci 101

"Democracy" means that the bandits are elected rather than appointed.

When a politician says, "It's that simple," it never is. But he may be.

Congress should begin each legislative session not with a prayer but with a Ritalin!

Torquemada is alive and well and living in Washington, D.C.

I find it remarkable that we Americans have actually been engaged in a serious national conversation about the pros and cons of torturing political prisoners.

The debate over the use of torture as an interrogation tool ought not focus on the rights of enemy combatants but on the extent of our own civility.

America's laws apply to Americans; America's humanity should apply to all.

Of the People, by the People

The cornerstone of a successful, stable democracy is an informed, energized, involved electorate.

In Athenian democracy, political questions were resolved by popular vote--every issue was settled by referendum. I am thankful for our republican system--I do not want an electorate who call the Psychic Hotline or Dial-a-Prayer making decisions for me.

America has become a nation of two-year-olds: we want it--we want it all--we want it NOW!

With all our toys, how come we still aren't having fun?

I, patriot

Some may consider me unpatriotic because I contend that America's bounty is not a gift from god but a purchase made with the blood and sweat of Americans.

I support our troops but not this war; I respect the presidency but not this president.

It is not patriotic to rally 'round the Flag when we're wrong.

I am glad Barack Obama picked Joe Biden as his V.P. Now I'm hoping he'll choose Sam Nunn for Secretary of State and Hillary Clinton for Ambassador to East Timor.

The definition of "marriage" should be determined by the lexicographers and the lawmakers, not by the clerics--and certainly not by the presidential candidates!

Most (Un)Wanted

High on my list of Most Dangerous Politicians, just behind Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, is "Independent Democrat" Joe Lieberman of Connecticut. Lieberman seems to me, first and foremost, a Zionist, who would not hesitate to embroil the U.S. in another Middle East military misadventure if he thought it would further the interests of Israel. What do the good citizens of Connecticut see in Senator Joe that I don't? Could it be that the orthodox Jew is bringing home the bacon?

Before entering the voting booth this November, I urge everyone to read "The Dark Side" by Jane Mayer, a chilling account of how America lost its way--and its soul--under Bush/Cheney following 9/11.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

America truly is the Land of Opportunity, a place where a kid of limited vision and modest ability can grow up to become President of the United States--as long as he's born into a wealthy and well-connected White Christian family.

David Letterman spoofs "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches," spotlighting George Bush's stultifying linguistic gaffes--not an occasional Late Show feature, but nightly--and never runs out of fresh grist for the mill!

Voters insist they disapprove of negative political ads--but respond like Pavlov's dogs!

Hail to the Chief!

I am a product of Watergate, Irangate, the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, Monica Lewinsky and Gennifer Flowers, Iraqi Weapons of Mass Destruction--I would have to be naive or stupid to accept at face value the pronouncements of any president or his minions.

Absent independent validation, I believe nothing this president tells me; that's the same level of trust I accorded his predecessor and will accord his successor.

If you can't measure it, weigh it, count it, or time it, it doesn't belong in the Olympics!

Off with their heads!

The Constitution should be amended to provide an alternative to impeachment, for offenses other than High Crimes and Misdemeanors--offenses like Stupidity and Incompetence. An electorate who can recognize and admit their mistakes deserve a remedy.

The Ship of State is steered by scoundrels, scalawags, and nincompoops!

I was dumbfounded by Henry Kissinger's arrogant assertion/admission that he never had second thoughts about any major policy desision. god bless America--and protect us from decision-makers who never have second thoughts.

Chimera

I stand by my assertion that Big Government can do nothing well--it is, by its nature, too bloated, too inefficient, too corrupt. That's not to say that government should do nothing.

In the sense of "conservative" as cautious, I am a Conservative; in the sense of "liberal" as unconstrained by orthodoxy, I am a Liberal--I consider myself a political Independent with conflicting Socialist and Libertarian leanings!

Just Words

Words are magical. Words can incite a war, seduce a lover, soothe an anxious child, salve or abrade a wound, inspire or extinguish a spirit.

Sticks and stones can break your bones; words can destroy your soul.

Words (and gods) are powerless without the power we bestow upon them.

Language-cop Citations

TV Commercial: "You should read Sailing News too." In addition to Soap Opera Digest?--or, like all my fellow intrepid yachtsmen?

Police spokesman: "We want deadly force to be the last thing we use." Deadly force is always the last thing police use!

The catalogue offers five grades of pillows: Good, Better, Best, Supreme, and Ultimate. Best is good, better than Good--even better than Better; but Best isn't best--Supreme and Ultimate are both better than Best!

The NASA official described the enthusiastic efforts of the Mars-mission scientists as "eagerly beavering"!

The mayor responded to criticism of the slow pace in solving a recent crime: "No investigation goes without some pimples bursting occasionally"!

The private gumshoe said he was hired to "documentate" whether the philandering husband was engaged in a "rendezvoutation"!

Affirmative Corruption

Even in a town where crooked politicians have long dominated the municipal landscape, this guy deserves a Brass Balls Award: Alleging dirty politics (!?), he sued his own city for job discrimination. Then he ran for, and was elected, mayor. Shortly after taking office, his suit was "settled," and he received nearly a half-million dollars; he, himself, signed the order. A judge later vacated the arrangement because of obvious deal-killing conflicts of interest, and mandated repayment of the entire amount. But (Hold onto your hat!), the mayor claimed the money was gone--all spent (add "improvident" to his other less-endearing qualities!) He is now again running for mayor, and is again being enthusiastically supported within the (majority) Black community. To his constituents, I believe, the candidate, as one of their own, deserves his dubious status in the pantheon of corrupt power brokers that was formerly the exclusive domain of self-aggrandizing White politicians! A certain poetic justice, don't you think?

I favor a helping hand for individuals who have been, and are, disadvantaged. I oppose favoritism for groups based on ethnic characteristics or the hardships, however real, endured by their great-grandparents.

Self-help for Groupies

I find it odd that people flock to groups that preach self-help.

How come people pay big bucks to attend motivational seminars, only to be told that motivation must come from within?

Triumphant underdogs epitomize Olympics ideal!

In an "epic upset," the lowest-ranked Latvian beach volleyball duo drubbed the top-ranked Americans. A Rocky Balboa moment!

Let's stop tracking national Olympics medal counts; athletes should be honored individually for winning, countries should be recognized collectively for participating.

Mending Fences

George Bush--no, a top-level envoy who is smarter and more articulate than George Bush--should be on his way to Moscow now!

HAPPY SELF-ESTEEM DAY!

I know it's hard to believe, but take it from me (and Copernicus)--you are not the Center of the Universe.

Convince a loser that he's really a winner, and you'll wind up with a sore loser.

If you find yourself running in place, perhaps you should consider dropping out of the race.

Better to have low self-esteem and be able to stand in the shallow end of the pool than to have exaggerated self-esteem and be over your head in the deep end.

Look in the mirror; if you don't retch, your self-esteem is adequate--find another reason fror your misery.

Don't like yourself? Well, I don't much care for you either!

And speaking of exaggerated self-esteem...

When George W. lectured China about human rights abuses and chastened Russia for its preemptive attack on sovereign Georgia, the irony completely eluded him (but did not go unnoticed by the Chinese and Russians).

When President Bush observed that the invasion of Georgia had "substantially damaged Russia's standing in the world," he spoke as the voice of experience.

John McCain's belligerent initial response to the volatile Russia-Georgia crisis should cause serious concern that a President McCain would perpetuate the Bush modus operandi of reflexively reacting to every perceived threat with bellicose bluster and bravado.

Countdown to Self-esteem Day (1)

Low self-worth and high self-esteem are a volatile cocktail!

High self-esteem is not a birthright--it is accomplished by accomplishment.

Dont't wait for things to get better--don't expect a "Eureka!" moment; work, instead, on improving your skills--watch your self-esteem soar!

Determination trumps Inspiration.

Develop a firm handshake and a steady gaze.

Take ability, add passion; you have the ingredients for greatness.

Countdown to Self-esteem Day (2)

Your potential may be untapped, but it is not unlimited.

You will never actualize your potential unless you are prepared to step outside your Comfort Zone.

Practice does not make perfect, but it will get you closer.

To not fail, one need only not try.

Don't tell me you've never failed; tell me how many times you've succeeded.

If it's important to you, go ahead and take credit for your successes--but only if you're prepared to accept blame for your failures.

Countdown to Self-esteem Day (3)

Teachers opposed the new, more stringent, academic standards because some students who try hard still can't make the grade. Who do they think will be better served by pretending that the non-achievers succeed?

Fourteen valedictorians in one class, all with straight-A averages--boy, they must have a bunch of really smart kids in that school! Or is grade escalation simply another example of misguided feelgoodism?

"Excellence" is diminished when everyone excels.

We don't encourage excellence by rewarding mediocrity.

Modest rewards are just compensation for modest accomplishments.

When one receives only symbols as reward, one is likely to extend only a symbolic effort.

Countdown to Self-esteem Day (4)

The father of the retarded boy said, "There are no limits to what he can do." Such self-deception may console the parent, but denial of the son's limitations must exacerbate the frustration of failure.

To avoid disappointment, learn your limitations.

A negative outcome does not necessarily imply negligence or sloth. Being more diligent and trying harder does not ensure a favorable result. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we fail.

Slow-but-steady wins the race only when Swift stumbles.

Effective motivation instills a positive attitude while exorcising wishful thinking.

In the real world, proficiency matters more than sincerity; if your best isn't good enough, try something else.

Countdown to Self-esteem Day (5)

"Low self-esteem" is more often an excuse than an explanation.

Reach beyond your grasp and you will come up empty-handed.

Nothing inherently wrong with being a bonsai; problems arise when the bonsai fancies itself an oak but can provide no shade.

The secret to happiness is aligning one's ambitions and expectations with one's abilities and accomplishments.

One's most valuable tool, and that most difficult to come by, is an accurate self-assessment.

Conducting a thorough self-assessment is like trying to scrub one's own back--some dirty spots always remain unreachable.

Pap and Pipedreams

Following a rash of violent juvenile crime, a cadre of multidisciplinary experts instructed us where to lay blame. But I heard no one even consider possible untoward consequences of some self-esteem propoganda: "You can be anything you want." (No, you can't!) "You can have it all." (No, you can't!) Perhaps it should come as no surprise when our kids become frustrated and angry, and lash out at a society that feeds them a diet of pap and pipedreams.

Sorry, kids, but you can't "have it all." With a bit of luck, you can have some of it, but you'll have to work long and hard to get it!

A society that fosters unrealistic expectations and baseless feelings of entitlement foments (future) civil unrest.

Blackboard Jungle

We are a violent society. We produce violent children. What's the question?

There are no "adult crimes"--there are only adult (or juvenile) criminals.

It was simpler dealing with Juvenile Delinquents before they became Special Needs Students.

The newspaper article questioned why students who attack teachers are not being placed in "alternative" schools; I questioned why students who attack teachers are not being put in jail.

Kids learn enough about self-expression, not nearly enough about self-restraint.

Capital Idea

Our enlightened judiciary declared it illegal to execute juvenile offenders but offered no guidance regarding what constitutes a "juvenile." We now need a Juvenility Index to determine which criminals lack sufficient maturity and judgment to qualify for death. A few simple Yes/No questions should suffice; for example, "Do you talk to angels or dead people, or believe that others can?" A "Yes" clearly indicates that one is too juvenile (at any age) for capital punishment.

"Uncle!"

It is unrealistic to expect U.S. entrepreneurs to forgo the greater profits they can realize by producing their goods abroad at lower cost, just as it is unreasonable to expect U.S. consumers to "Buy American!" when they can purchase an imported product of equal or greater quality at a lower price.

I remember the shoddy manufacture of made-in-America automobiles before the Japanese made substantive inroads into Detroit's market share and roused the Big 3 from their incestuous communal slumber.

Okay, I capitulate. I'm persuaded by the passion, if not the rationale, to "Buy American!"--so should I purchase the Japanese model that's assembled by American workers at a plant in Tennessee, or the American brand that's assembled by Mexican laborers at a factory in Tijuana?

Sheep in wolves' clothing: free-market capitalists whining that they need government subsidies to be competitive.

Liars and Cheaters and Thieves (Oh my!)

The most-corrupt political Party is whichever is currently in power.

Get ready to rrrrumble!

"Buy American!"? Capitalism is a bloodsport--Adam Smith's "invisible hand" is a brass-knuckled fist--only the fittest survive; the wayside of corporate history is littered with the rotting husks of companies that could not endure without special preferences or protections. Let the Games begin!

Absent a dramatic improvement in Third-World standards of living, it seems evident to this non-economist that America can regain its competitiveness in the global marketplace only by reducing the costs of domestic labor or by achieving and maintaining significant advantages in efficiency/productivity and/or quality.

The bumper sticker read: "Proud to be UNION." Is the driver proud that union demands for unrealistic and unsustainable wages and benefits have resulted in erosion of the U.S. manufacturing base and a mass exodus of American jobs?

Corrosive Virtues: Forgive and Forget

Forgiveness is over-rated.

Forgive, if you like; forget at your peril.

When you acknowledge my faults, you accept me as I am; if you forgive my faults, you accept me as you wish I were.

I don't seek your forgiveness; I seek your forbearance.

Election Reflection

They've been spouting platitudes on the campaign trail for more than a year and a half, yet not a single candidate from either side has even mentioned the challenge of population growth. Are they all too ignorant or all too timid?

Myopia is not a credible excuse for ignorance when the answers lie right beyond one's nose.

I have long posited that the most-essential qualities of an excellent physician are to know what one doesn't know, and where to go for help; the same might be said of presidential candidates.

The most desirable experience for a politician is experience in some field other than politics!

Corrosive Virtues: She loves me, she loves me not...

My dogs love me unconditionally--I expect my friends to be more discriminating.

I will love you always--or for as long as you give me insufficient reason not to.

Do you suppose Charles Manson's mother loves him? Why should she? How could she?

If one wants to be loved, it is helpful if one is lovable.

You must earn my love, and I yours. Today, tomorrow, forever. To bestow love unconditionally is to trivialize it.

I don't love gays. And I don't love straights. I don't love Blacks. I don't love Whites, either. I don't love Christians, Muslims, or Jews. When it comes to loving, I'm a firm believer in meritocracy.