Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Language-cop Citations

Presidential historian, on the Monica Lewinsky affair: "She almost caused Bill Clinton to lose his presidency." Yeah, like Nicole caused O.J. to lose his Heisman Trophy!

"Hillary cares about her zone of privacy." Translation: She has more to hide.

Lifetime Achievement Awards should be bestowed posthumously; otherwise, they're only Up-'til-now Awards.

For his first crime, he was condemned to death; for his second, he received 25 years in prison. According to the News, "He'll serve the two sentences consecutively"!?

Lactaid is "100% lactose-reduced." Is it safe to assume that means it's lactose-free?!

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