Beastie Boys (and Girls)

Americans are obsessed with children. Wherefore this veneration? A child contributes nothing and has contributed nothing--it just takes. Young children, unconstrained, are amoral, antisocial, avaricious, totally narcissistic bundles of rapacious appetites--bottomless pits of needs and wants! Those qualities we find endearing in a toddler would warrant commitment or incarceration of an accountable adult. A child is a wriggling, giggling, booger-picking amorphous mass of malleable potential who is at least as likely to become a Manson as a Mozart. Hillary Clinton got it right: it takes a whole village--just to civilize the little beasties!