Miscellany II

It takes time and cultivation for the seeds of our neuroses to fully blossom.

The prime requisite for any successful collaboration is generosity.

Take nothing (and no one) for granted.

When one hedges one's bet, it usually means that one is holding a losing hand.

Those who seem to have everything you want often also have a lot that you don't want.

Now we learn that the latest mother of octuplets is a single mom who already had six other children and lives with her parents. Imagine the cost to the taxpayers of subsidizing this woman's neurotic prolificacy for the next twenty years. (Could that have been what she had in mind?) This was not a medical miracle, it was a medical sideshow. Where is the outrage from the AMA? And where is the condemnation from our sanctimonious religious leaders?--if their god intended octuplets, he'd have given Eve eight teats. The fertility "expert" who enabled this unconscionable obscenity should lose his professional licence--permanently-- and be sentenced to hand-washing these babies' diapers until they're all fully potty-trained!

Business as Usual

I am disappointed by President Obama's apparent inability to prevent elements of his own Party from exploiting his "non-partisan" Economic Stimulus Plan as a vehicle to further their Progressive social/cultural agendae.

Miscellany

To see, one must look; to hear, one must listen. To feel, one must touch.

Desires fulfilled may satisfy; desires frustrated can inspire.

Learn to be Still; not like a void but like a placid sea.

Until one develops a sense of balance, it may be a good idea to use training wheels.

With all our modern toys, how come we aren't having fun yet?

Get REAL (or REAL will get you!)

REALITY is what will be left after we've all killed each other off defending our own Realities.

REALITY is the Energizer Bunny on steroids--and with an attitude!

The same REALITY is the context of all our disparate delusions.

REALITY is amoral, nonjudgmental, and utterly indifferent to your passions.

What happens when a fixed notion confronts a dynamic REALITY? Regrettably, usually nothing.

Catch 22

Incessant partisan wrangling in Washington supports my contention that Big Government can do nothing well; still, government must do something. (Whatever opposing intransigents finally manage to cobble together, don't expect it to be pretty!)

Language-cop Citations

Lesbian activist: "We've got to educate people and let them know there's no difference between gay people and straight people." Well, I can think of one difference!

"I don't think the president's conduct rises to the level of an impeachable offense." Don't you mean sinks to the level...?!

J.R.R. Tolkein: "All that is gold does not glitter..." Did J.R.R. really mean (as he wrote) that nothing that is gold glitters or that not all that is gold glitters?!

"Turn right at the red light." Got it--and if the light is green?!

"That's the honest truth" is redundant, Mr. President--and that's a true fact!

Shame on us!

We needn't feel ashamed of human bloodlust--it's in our genes; our shame lies in the failure to use our intellects to subdue our appetites.

I had long objected to the lyrics of "Amazing Grace" that characterize mankind as wretches. I've changed my mind: I might prefer "scum," but "wretch" will do.

The noblest accomplishments are those not achieved at someone else's expense.

The most bitter defeats are those hardest fought; the sweetest victories are those hardest won.

Q&A

Is this all there is?
Yes. What was isn't. Neither is what might have been or what will be.

Is Death the End or the Beginning?
Death is the end of time with you and the beginning of time without you.

A Letter to the Editor

Today's "Our View" correctly identifies deferral of expenditures as a budgetary gimmick that does not seriously address New Jersey's mounting fiscal crisis. Yet, in the same issue, a frontpage article refers to governmental pension-payment deferrals as "savings." Deferrals are not savings, and propogating that delusion further enables the perpetrators in Trenton to put off real, meaningful, and lasting spending cuts (the only way to right our listing ship of state). With deferrals, taxpayer liabilities continue to rise, unaffected--and eventually (on someone else's watch the gutless politicos pray) the bills come due and the piper must be paid.

Any federal economic stimulus plan will include broad-based tax relief; paradoxically (and counterproductively), cash-strapped states, counties, and municipalities are feverishly padding every tax, toll, and fee in sight.

The primary mission of any government--democratic or despotic, capitalistic or socialistic, big or small--is to perpetuate itself.

No good deed goes unpunished!

For decades, Americans have been castigated for our love affair with the automobile. We were warned about our harmful impact on the environment and the dangers of increasing dependency on foreign oil. We blithely ignored pleas to carpool, use public transit, purchase more-fuel-efficient vehicles. Then the price at the pump went through the roof, and we changed our profligate habits--we actually began driving less, benefiting both the planet and our family budgets. Win/win! But now a federal commission urges a 50% hike in the gasoline tax to make up for the foreseeable revenue shortfall consequent to reduced consumption.

From "365 Days to RECOVERY from RELIGION"

I'm fascinated by the compartmentalization of the intellect, as exemplified by the autistic savant in "Rain Main" and god-fearing cosmologists.

In one compartment lies that which we believe--in a separate compartment that which we know. The partition enables faith unencumbered by knowledge and permits knowledge unimpeded by faith.

Without any apparent sense of irony, the prominent Catholic priest-scientist characterized creationists as ignorant while explaining/excusing his personal beliefs in a virgin birth and resurrection as simply matters of faith.

How come people who believe in angels find fairies and leprechauns implausible?

And the winner is...

America must adjust to Second-place or Third-place or, increasingly, Also-ran.

I first wondered in a different context; in light of recent events in Gaza, I remain perplexed: The wives of my enemy succor my enemy, the progeny of my enemy are my enemies-in-waiting--"innocent women and children"?

Inauguration or Coronation?

Excess is unseemly--moreso in times of austerity.

Verities

Prosecutor: "First-degree murder is a charge we don't take lightly"!

Cancer specialist: "Cure of the disease depends on its response to treatment"!

Hockey player, on scoring his team's lone point: "One is better than none"!

Law professor, on fabricated evidence that sent an innocent man to Death Row: "That's really bad"!

Thanks to the Weather Channel for informing me that the weatherman I am watching is an "on-camera meteorologist"!

Inauguration Day

Assaulted by insensitive oaths, prayers, and benedictions, I was reminded that I, now unlike Barack Obama, remain part of an excluded minority, Atheist Americans.

Not even great orators can long maintain an unbroken string of great speeches; the president's inaugural address was acceptable but not exceptional.

The Inauguration itinerary featured back-to-back-to back-to-back speeches by our new president. Even too much of a good thing can become tiresome.

Female staffers become pregnant after touching statue of African fertility goddess at Ripley mueum

Touching the goddess led without an exception,
The women swore, to immaculate conception.
To lovers who doubted what the icon begot,
They replied, "This is Ripley's--Believe It or Not!"

Coffee house causes flap over sticky bun containing image of Mother Theresa

It quickly became a tourist attraction,
And prompted the owner's over-reaction--
First he sold nun T-shirts, then on further reflection,
Shellacked and preserved this immaculate confection:
"I'll not profit from perpetuating such fiction,
But buy an espresso, get a free benediction!"

Going my way?

The road less traveled could be a dead end.

It doesn't matter that I'm being left behind unless everyone else is going somewhere I want to get to.

Inertia makes it hard to get started; then, once you're in motion, makes it hard to stop.

If one never looks back, one risks being rear-ended.

Fire!

When one's life is ablaze, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

Endure this moment for the promise of the next.

During his farewell address, George Bush seemed bewildered and embarrassed--no longer the swaggering cowboy--still unable to grasp why he was leaving office in disgrace, still excusing his abject failures by asserting that he had done his best, still unable to recognize or unwilling to concede that his best wasn't nearly good enough.

Change

People and circumstances change; enduring relationships change with them.

Whether the old dog can learn a new trick may depend on how badly he wants that bone.

The configuration and dimensions of any box we build can always be adjusted later to provide a better fit.

One can change for better or worse; the thing one can't do is stay the same.

Accomplished incrementally, the task seems less daunting.

Finis

While composing a final chapter, it's a good idea to keep in mind the sequel.

It's far easier writing (or living) a promising opener than a satisfying conclusion.

We are rapt by the persuasiveness of our own arguments, then turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to evidence that contradicts us.

To an opponent who introduces his argument with "I know," the most appropriate rejoinder is "auf Wiedersehen."

Language-cop Citations

The fitness athlete was introduced as an "Iron Man lady." Was she competing in the Transgender Games?!

After the crash: "The last fifteen minutes on Wall Street yesterday were a roller coaster." No they weren't--roller coasters go up and down; the Market ride was unidirectional!

"With First-Plus, you can get up to $40,000 or more." Which is it, up to or more? (It can't be both.)

When the Constitution established the standard for impeachment as "high crimes and misdemeanors," wasn't that a bit like imposing the electric chair for first-degree murder and jay-walking?!

The educator defended Head Start "for students at risk to succeed." Maybe next we can do something for those at risk to fail?!

Christian Cruise Line: "Feast your body and feed your soul."

Feasting my body and feeding my soul--
The message sounds Messianic.
But preaching and praying all day and night?
I'd personally prefer the Titanic!

Final answer?!

Whenever you feel compelled to do something irrational, distract yourself until the feeling passes.

I think I should turn left; I feel I should turn right. I'll turn left.

Fortunately for me, I usually have some time to reflect before acting on my impulses.

Having made a final decision, give yourself a chance to reconsider.

Pro-choice

The grandest larceny is to rob someone of choices.

A choice between inconsequential alternatives is no choice at all.

Inability to decide between one's choices can be worse than having no choices.

When you have no good choices, opt for the least bad.

Take my advice...

When you solicit my advice and I give it, we are acting together; if you take my advice, you're on your own!

Advice is free only when disregarded.

The Journey

Life is a succession of greater or lesser excellent adventures--grab your pith helmet!

If you go with the flow, you'll probably arrive sooner; but you may not like where you've gotten to.

By choice or happenstance, we're traveling widely divergent paths; if both reach our common destination, it doesn't much matter how we get there or who arrives first.

A circular path will only get one back to where one started from.

The journey is long, the transit brief; perhaps you should accelerate?

When adrift, it's helpful to grab the tiller.

One can move forward or backward; the thing one can not do (for long) is stand still.

Costs and Consequences

Suppose. Then make it happen. If you can.

Once you've affirmatively answered "Can I?" ask yourself "Should I?"

For every action there is a consequence and a cost.

Does the payoff warrant the effort? If not, sit back down.

Doubt is the progenitor of all Progress.

Verities

The pair were sitting in a stolen car, in front of the bank, wearing ski masks; according to police, "The two men looked suspicious"!

He tried to board the plane carrying a knife and a semi-automatic pistol; "Now the FBI have some questions for that passenger"!

Stock analyst, on Market rebound: "Things changed"!

Viewer Advisory: "Because this is actual heart surgery, some scenes may be a bit on the bloody side"!

Throwing his hat in the ring? "I'll make a decision by the end of the year, and it will either be Yes or No"!

Lights...camera...action!

The noteworthiness of one's performance depends, in part, on the demands of the role one plays.

One need not always do one's best; sometimes good enough is good enough.

When she said, "I found myself in a difficult situation," did she mean to imply that she had nothing to do with bringing about either the difficulty or the situation?

Never try to gauge your endurance with the wind at your back.

Endgame

The greatest threat is to him with most to lose.

One with nothing to lose has everything to gain.

Sometimes the endgame is to see who can lose least.

The strongest alliances are based not on common interests but on common enemies.

Feeling lucky?

You may get lucky--but don't count on it.

Before one can have dessert, one must eat one's peas!

One's error is not mitigated by accusing another of making the same mistake.

Comedy or Tragedy?

Much of what passes for human tragedy is really black comedy.

One needn't grin and bear it; one need only bear it.

I am weary to my bones of pervasive baseness, deceit, and stupidity.

The Key

Acceptance of what is (and its/our relative unimportance) may be a key--if not to happiness, at least to contentment; if not to contentment, at least to equanimity; if not to equanimity, at least to sanity.

There's always "something missing."

Vive la difference!

Can't we just be different without one of us having to be better?

Whomever I enhance enhances me; whomever I diminish diminishes me.

Friends don't flatter or humor me; friends encourage and uplift me.

If you know me and reject me, that's my loss; if you don't know me and reject me, that's your loss.