Be kind, criticize.

Constructive criticism is the kindest cut of all.

Reserve criticism for your friends--your foes won't listen anyway.

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!

Language-cop Citations

"By the power vested (not 'invested') in me,..."

"Allow four to six weeks for delivery" means allow six weeks for delivery.

Perhaps indicative of his own political stripes, Charlie Gibson referred to "...the assasination of attempted president Ronald Reagan"!

"Panties" should be for toddlers; grown women should wear underpants!

"A human skull has been found. Police want to know who it belongs to." Finders/Keepers, I suppose--whomever it originally belonged to is unlikely to reclaim it!

If comfort is your goal, neither a straggler nor a leader be.

Stragglers will likely be gobbled up by a predator higher in the food chain--not a pleasing prospect for the prey but beneficial, long-term, to the fitness of its herd.

Flap your wings too enthusiastically and you may leave the rest of the flock behind; that's OK, as long as you don't rely on the flock for direction.

When scaling a summit, be sure to conserve sufficient strength for the descent.

The higher one ascends, the more precarious one's perch.

Follow me!

Among lemmings, and the lemming-like, the attraction of hurtling to one's death alongside one's fellows is greater than the prospect of surviving by standing alone.

If one leans too readily on crutches for support, one risks losing the ability to stand alone.

Introspection

It's easy to identify dementia in others, much more difficult to recognize one's own derangement.

With others' peccadilloes, fine lines separate endearing from annoying from obnoxious!

We are blinded by the good we see in ourselves and the bad we see in all who oppose us.

Nothing (and no one) is ever "always" anything.

Trivial Pursuit

Learning to accumulate knowledge allows one to excel at parlor games; learning to apply knowledge enables one to excel at life.

We are not at our best when we suffer; we are at our best when we alleviate suffering.

Fight fair!

There are no fair fights--the stronger, swifter, or cleverer prevails.

In any losing battle, there comes a propitious time to concede defeat.

Winners don't fight losing battles.

Most of us would rather choke on it than have to swallow our pride.

Better to save one's ass than to save face.

The Meaning of Christmas

Philosophers and theologians down through the ages
Have studied and scrutinized the Scriptures' pages
Searching for the meaning of yule logs and holly,
Of carols and mistletoe, of elves fat and jolly,
Of wisemen bearing myrrh and incense,
Of prayer and salvation and reverence,
Of shepherds and mangers, and a blazing star
That guided pilgrims from near and far.
And while scholars reflect and pundits ponder
This season of spiritual awe and wonder,
Good Christians everywhere, one and all,
Grab their credit cards and rush to the Mall!

"The Power of Words"

I experience the joy of an epiphany whenever I realize the one word that most-precisely conveys the exact meaning I intend.

I want the reader to hear my words just as they sounded to me in my head when I wrote them.

"The Tyranny of Words"

Not even Shakespeare could ever fully describe the simplest object or event; yet, we rely on words to express our most complex emotions.

No matter how rhapsodical your delivery, unless I comprehend what (you think) you said, your communication fails.

Language-cop Citations

Pass the Ipecac: Following the Nannygate affair, another au pere explained, "You don't stop an entire program because of one antidotal case."

The outraged caller complained about self-styled superpatriots who "wrap themselves around the flag." (Neat trick, Plastic Man!)

He said: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman..."
He meant: 1) fellatio does not qualify as "sex," 2) an occasional blowjob does not constitute "relations."

Historian: "Calvin Coolidge was sworn in by his father, who was a notary republic."

Producers of the "Lolita" re-make expressed concern about a potential backlash from "moral groups." More likely, any backlash would come from moralizing groups.

In Trust we trust.

I don't care how smart or talented you may be; if I can't trust you, you are worthless to me.

Without trust, we cannot communicate; without communication, we cannot relate.

If one routinely lies to others, can one reliably be honest with oneself?

The truth, the whole truth...

Unless we each can assume that the other is being truthful, we can only babble.

You grant that I'm being truthful not because I say I'm telling the truth, but because your experience with me assures you that I'm a truth-teller.

If it's other than my "honest opinion," it isn't my opinion at all.

Payback

Let me be sure I understand: When your great-grandparents slaved to pick cotton under the lash of Simon Legree, mine struggled to survive under the yoke of a persecutory Czar; when your grandparents fled Southern oppression, mine ran for their lives from Russian pogroms; when your parents faced racial prejudice, mine confronted religious discrimination; when you were stung by "nigger," I was taunted with "kike" and "Christ-killer"--and you want me to pay you reparations?

Credit when it's due

President Bush articulated a concise, lucid defense of his plan to assist the Big 3 U.S. automakers. In the darkest days of his failed administration, the president attained his brightest moment.

Endangered Species

I have no problem with miscegenation, in principle. But it would be a shame to sacrifice the rainbow hues of multi-ethnic variegation for a cafe au lait monochrome.

I would lament the passing of the White (Black/Yellow/Red) race, much as I would the passing of the Spotted Owl.

Look ahead; but while you're at it, look around.

Tunnel vision blinds one to wonders at the periphery.


We don blinders, then seem surprised when we're blindsided.


"Live in the present"--sound advice; but always with an ear to the past and an eye on the future.

The REAL "Secret"

Observe carefully, ask searching questions, evaluate evidence critically, reexamine your premises, weigh your options, establish attainable priorities, work diligently, acknowledge what is, don't believe everything you see, live in the present, pursue excellence, take responsibility, welcome challenges, expect no favors or fairness, rely on no other, learn and embrace your limitations, accept that shit happens (don't take it personally); then, with a bit of luck, you may achieve a favorable outcome.

If you find yourself on a peak, stop climbing; if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Verities

The elderly millionairess had been missing for months when the judge declared her "legally absent"!

Storm tracker: "The speed of the hurricane has slowed by 25%...that means it will stick around for 25% longer"!

Political pundit: "What Congess does with the Report depends on what's in it"!

Man from Hope: "I have no one but myself to blame for my self-inflicted wounds"!

Contestant: "My husband is a truck driver."
Regis: "So he's on the road a lot"!

At a press conference in Baghdad, an Iraqi journalist hurled insults (and his shoes!) at president Bush. Dubya later reflected, "I don't know what his beef is." We invaded and occupied the reporter's homeland, killing tens of thousands of his countrymen--and our lame-duck lame duck doesn't have a clue what his "beef" might be?!

What time is it?

Time is a juggernaut.

You might as well slow down--you cannot outrun the march of time.

Time is a precious resource and a scarce commodity--expend it stingily.

Ease up. Back off. Try again.

Count your blessings.

I may (and at times certainly do) feel sad or oppressed, but I don't feel sorry for myself; and I don't waste time or energy trying to find comfort by counting my "blessings," by comparing the intensity/extent of others' greater misfortunes to my own, by railing against Life's supposed unfairness, or by longing for an invisible rescuer and agonizing when he/she/it fails to arrive.

Trying to expel an unwelcome thought often makes it more intrusive.

I want it. I want it NOW!

In deciding what you want from life, remember that as you grow, your desires, too, will evolve.

For each desideratum, you must determine what price you are willing (and able) to pay.

If you focus exclusively on what works, you will never fix what's broken.

This time, I tend to side with the Republicans: Democrats need to stop coddling the UAW; if union members expect taxpayers to save their jobs, they must accept deeper, more-immediate cuts.

Postcard from the Closet

"Coming out" seems to be in fashion--whether sharing one's sexual preferences, one's chemical dependencies, or one's dysfunctional childhood, the catharsis is said to be therapeutic. Okay, so I'm from the Old School--I tend to suffer and endure quietly, in private, and to keep my personal problems and pain to myself. There, I feel better already.

Take time to see the rainbows, hear the laughter, taste a lover's kiss, touch someone's heart.

Laws of Communication

Effective communication depends not on speed but on my ability to say (and convey) what I mean and yours to hear (and understand) what I say.

To sustain constructive dialogue, take care not to come across as belittling or dismissive--no matter how self-evident your rectitude.

Rebut, don't ridicule.

It's okay to get angry--it's not okay to get nasty.

Laws of (Mis)Communication

If one's words can be misinterpreted, they will be misinterpreted; if one's meanings can be misunderstood, they will be misunderstood; if one's motives can be misconstrued, they will be misconstrued.

Vox Populi

The loudest voices among the American electorate are the Nay-sayers and the Free-lunchers!

Do as I say, not as I do.

Fire-breathing politicians are demanding that the CEOs of the Big 3 automakers have to go: "The same people who got us into this mess can't be part of a restructuring. That just doesn't make sense." (Many of these self-aggrandizing politicos are among the same enablers and abetters who got us into this mess. That just doesn't make sense!)

Language-cop Citations

"The vote of the eighteen-member board was sixteen to nothing"!

Conservative columnist Walter Williams excoriated "female congresswomen"!

How did "pissed off" and "that sucks" become accepted in sociable discourse?

The bachelor jock bemoaned the dearth of "quality" dates: "I'm looking for someone who can conversate"!

If "apostasy" is the abandonment of religion, shouldn't a disciple be a "postle"?

"The most important thing about the Olympics is not to win." If not winning were most important, they'd award medals to the losers!

Terri Schiavo Redux

Sunny von Bulow died last week, after a prolonged coma during which she exhibited no signs of brain activity. All the retrospectives that I read or heard focused on the celebrity of the participants in this sensational whodunnit--none addressed the travesty of forcing sustenance through a stomach tube into a mindless husk for 28 years. This tragedy illustrates not the sanctity of preserving life but the obscenity of prolonging death. R.I.P. Sunny--finally.

Heartbreak Hotel

My high school girlfriend was responsible for my first broken heart--and for the realization that broken hearts are rarely fatal.



More relationships are undone by sabotage than by direct frontal assault.

I can never forgive Feminism for plural pronouns referring to singular nouns.

Who'll save the White Knight?!

When a White Knight meets a damsel in distress, one often winds up with both a damsel and a White Knight in distress.

I resent when the best of me is called my "feminine side." I've never heard it said of a successful woman athlete or corporate executive that she's "in touch" with her masculine side.

Much of what passes for communication between the sexes requires a secret decoder ring!

Save the Nukes!

Why would anyone want to get rid of nuclear weapons? Nukes, and the threat of incineration they imply, have kept us from Global Conflagration from more than sixty years now. The credibility of the nuclear deterrent, of course, depends on the conviction that nukes might actually be used. Detonating a nice, tidy little tactical Bomb on some third-world dictator every now and then would probably do the trick.

The neutron bomb, that would kill people without destroying property, makes sound economic sense; it's cheaper to repopulate than to rebuild.

Each New Jerseyan--every man/woman/child--spends $9.33 per month on state-employee salaries. Each Ohioan spends $5.20. Each Tennessean spends $4.69. Each Floridian spends $3.79. I calculated these figures from official 2007 data readily available on the Internet. Similar computations could be done for municipal and county workers, but I strongly suspect that the trends would be the same. Are we New Jerseyans patsies--or what? Unless we believe that our quality of life in the Garden State is compellingly superior to that in Ohio, Tennessee, and Florida (et al), we should demand a dramatic reduction in public-sector workforce expenditures and should consistently, reliably expel all incumbent politicians--this election, next election, every election--until they get the message that we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!

"Concessions"

To save automakers, the UAW conceded a few delayed payments and deferred contributions. Preserving union jobs will require more: American payscales must be reset to better reflect the new global economic realities.
(See 8/3 entry, "Get ready to rrrrumble!")

A stinkweed by any other name...

How come the Japanese raid at Pearl Harbor is always referred to as a "sneak attack," but the Allies' secret D-day invasion at Normandy was a "surprise"?

We "confront and capture" their soldiers; they "ambush and kidnap" ours.

We call them War Criminals. They compare us to Nazis. Meanwhile, sticks and stones are breaking bones.

Our collective madness is not new, just more visible--and vastly more toxic.

Peace in our time?

In the endless cycles of Middle-East revenge and retribution, it becomes difficult to recall how/why/by whom the blood-letting began.

Claims to a homeland based on conjecture about who lived there first, thousands of years ago, are nonsensical; if we really accepted the legitimacy of that criterion, we would all pack our bags and cede the Americas back to the aborigines who preceded us. Turf in the Middle East, as elsewhere throughout history, will ultimately belong to whoever has the strength, guile, and will to take it and hold it.

The gap may be unbridgeable, peace unsustainable, between one society that rears its children to become teachers, scientists, engineers and other societies whose loftiest goal for their offspring is martyrdom.

Israel insisted that its incursion into Lebanon was not an invasion. It sure looked like an invasion. It killed and destroyed like an invasion. I wonder if there's a Hebrew word for something that waddles and quacks but isn't a duck!?

Posturing federal legislators are demanding a symbolic pound of flesh for every ton of funny money they lavish on the troubled automakers. Will the politicos be as exacting when bailing out their profligate bureaucratic allies in city and state governments? Don't bet on it!

Forward, march!

One doesn't make progress by standing still.


To avoid becoming stuck, keep moving forward.


The first step to reaching one's destination is to take the first step.


Set one foot in front of the other. Again. Again...

Walk through life with a purposeful stride.

"Can you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here," asked Alice.

The path is revealed when the fog lifts, but one must still decide which way to go.

Two steps forward and one back may slow one's progress but permits a second chance to consider whether one is proceeding in the proper direction.

Willingness to reverse course when faced with exigent circumstances is a sign not of weakness but of strength.

One never knows what may lie just over the next hillock or around the next bend; therein lies much of our fear, and much of our hope.